Core wound dream

I dreamed twice of my ex-boyfriend last night who carried ONE OF THE CORE WOUNDINGS OF MEN. This WOUND so many men carry gets in the way of their enjoying life, feeling like a success, or having a nourishing relationship. WHAT IS IT?
David, died last year from a surprise heart attack BUT THAT WAS NOT THE WOUND. In the 100s of dreams I’ve had of him, since our breakup over 20 years ago, I am YELLING that I LOVE HIM. Yet he can’t hear me.
He carried one of the CORE WOUNDINGS OF MEN which is ***
“I am not DESIRABLE. I am not FUCKABLE. I am not ENOUGH.”
This wounding will not be solved by:
– Having sex with more women.
– Having multiple lovers or partners at the same time.
– Making more money.
– Being more in charge of people, corporations, or submissives.
– Crafting the perfect body.
– Dating the perfect body.
– Being adored, worshipped or admired by more people.
At one point in our monogamous relationship David asked if he could date other women. He said that he never felt loved or safe with his mother at home. He said that he never felt like he was desired in middle school and high school. (He believed that THE OTHER GUYs were getting more sex. Sex that he should be getting but wasn’t.)
By the time, he was an adult it was DEEP in his NARRATIVE of himself that women didn’t truly want him sexually, and that he had a right to the sex other men got but he didn’t get enough.
No matter how much I told him I loved him and wanted him or had sex with him, he would say it didn’t count because we were married.
When friends of mine wanted to have sex with him, and did, that didn’t count because they were my friends.
When other women had sex with him, he always had a reason why it didn’t count and wasn’t enough.
He was UNABLE TO SEE that the FEELING OF NOT ENOUGH was a WOUND inside him.
I too have CARRIED SIMILAR WOUNDS in my own way. Reaching out to fill it through sex, love, shopping, and/or eating.
I have WORKED HARD (and still do) to dive deep into my own INNER HEALING, my own SHADOW, my own INNER FAMILY to rewrite and rewire the past.
TODAY, I feel so much more peace. I feel surrounded by love. Fulfilled in my career choice. And anywhere that I feel unease, dis-ease, I know it is an INSIDE JOB to fix it. And I know that there are great therapists, and classes and support groups to help.
TODAY, I am saying I LOVE YOU! If you cannot let that in from me or someone else, GET HELP! The world is waiting to love you, if you can let it in.
Rose

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