Rose and I often go to the Botanical Gardens for our walks. It is close and a beautiful space to slow down and enjoy. You will never find a garden in wild nature, but around every corner you will find joy, love, and the beautiful symphony of flowers.
A garden is a concept that allows people to feel as though they own and understand the beauty of flowers. This is what a relationship is- an artificial, symbolic boundary around love that seeks to contain the infinite within the limitations of an individual or society’s mind.
It is important to arrive at this realization; that there is no such thing as a “relationship” except in the mind, and that as such relationships are always just a concept stored in memory. Memories can be false and almost invariably they are associated with emotions of fear, loss, and desire- none of which is conducive to peace, joy, or love. People often ask if we can help them with their “relationship”. Jokingly, we say sure, give it to us. We’ll take it home and see what we can fix. We’ll have it back to you in few days 😉
Everyone is in relationship with everyone and everything. When an individual truly knows that love is not subject to an artificial construct of possessiveness, and that it is always present within them and around them- they cannot help but be in the present moment. At this instance the ‘relationship’ has dissolved and nothing but love remains.
First learn to find the source of love within yourself, purify it from thought, projection, and fear of loss.
When it is as sweet as you can make it- drink deeply and for as long as it takes to love yourself so wholly that you can never be hurt by another. Then find someone who has done the same and stay with them for as long as you find yourselves in love.
Do not name this love, do not define it.
When it is no longer there in the present moment- embrace, cry, and walk away to share and taste love with another.
Once you can recognize the taste of love, true love, the love that humble people call God because they are ashamed to claim it and keep it for themselves- then you will not seek it. You will see it everywhere.
A garden grows and thrives anywhere nature is allowed to express herself. This is how love works.
What is the nature of relationship between sun, dirt, water, and blossom?
Does it matter when you are overwhelmed by sight, sound, taste, and wonder- all real and all right then in that moment? Does the word ‘garden’ change reality?
Does saying you are in love do anything to make the love better? No.
If I claim to be in a relationship with you, but what I offer you is bitter, hurt, frightened, and tainted with insecurity- is this better than if I embody love with every cell of my being and surround you with it unconditionally so that your soul delights and every sense is overwhelmed by the nature of my love? Only by being present and surrendering to the reality before us can love arise.
The reality is that all things grow old, weak, and sick and that nothing lasts.
It is also the nature of reality that each moment can feel like infinity if greeted with presence and attentiveness.
Be in Love. Be in love with everything, this IS relationship. Be in love with flowers and worms. Be in love with “bad people” and judgmental people. Be in love with your loneliness and your companionship. Be in love with your sadness and your joy. Be in love with your greed and your charity. Be in love.
Practice this and you will see there is nothing wrong with your “relationship”. Make a garden if you like, it will always, only be nature.
Jeff & Rose